The Start

 Letters to My Mom

Life has been what life usually is, a series of events both good and bad but they develop who we are. Sometimes those events inspire us to be better and sometimes they cause a path of destruction. What matters is how we choose to let these things impact us either immediately or later down the line. Mine was a roller coaster but the worst thing was losing the most amazing women on the planet. I’m leaving a very abusive relationship that turned me into a person that no one who loves me including me can recognize. I’m now reclaiming myself through this book for the person I loved most in life. She WILL be proud.

Mom had stage four cancer for the second time and I found a guided kids journal with tear out letters to write to your mom for her to read over time I thought would help her through chemo to have a bunch to pick from to read during the hours it took. I showed her and she was so excited just like I was. The intentions were good but I allowed time, life, and wanting to be loved by anyone since I was just getting divorced get in the way. 

I wrote four letters to her out of that book but she only got to read one. Not because she didn’t want to but because I didn’t deliver the other three. I have my moms shrine with all four of those letters next to all the other things that remind me of her. I’m afraid to open the other three and too ashamed of the person I had become to do so until now. Her death was my death and I’m recovering the best I can. Mom deserves to read these letters and she never will but I can. I can be the strong woman she raised and share them with all of you.

Dear Mom,

Through out my life you have taught me so many valuable lessons. I think the most important one is to always care for others. It doesn’t matter if you love them, like them, dislike them or even know them at all. You should always put yourself in the shoes of others and treat them the way you want to be treated. Beyond that you should always preform acts without expecting anything in return. I believe that this teaching has made me the type of person who cares for family, friends, and my community. I was always in awe of you but now that I see myself becoming a woman like you I feel pride and happiness. 

Love, 

Barbie

P.S. Thank you for giving me this gift.